Daryl’s Brain

My wife and I recently moved from Victoria to Langley where I encountered, for the first time, the modern, suburbian garage.  To understand the evolution of the garage, we must first understand where it has come from.  Basically, a suburban garage’s purpose was to either to park a vehicle to keep it protected from the elements, or to park a bunch of junk to keep it protected from an over-enthusiastic, garbage-throwing-away spouse.  With the advent of modern suburbia, this role has changed.

The difference between classic suburbia and modern suburbia is such an important factor here, that I must highlight the differences before going on.  Classic suburbia can be thought of as a large area divided into parcels of land called yards, on which houses (and the odd park) were built.  Modern suburbia, however, can be thought of as half the “large area” divided into houses that have a thin border of a yard in name only.  If you were to stand between two houses in modern suburbia and stretch out your arms, there’s a good chance you would be able to reach the exterior walls of both houses.

The concept of cramming as much house as possible onto a yard has not, however, increased the number of rooms in any given house, or, rather, it hasn’t increased the number of usable rooms.  Now you have things like a “great” room that is really just a living room, but used less so it looks nicer.  The same thing applies to the “formal dining area.”  You also have the basement suite, which would be usable if anyone could afford the house they just bought, but they can’t so it gets rented out.

In fact, apart from the common oversight of the chapel, there are several rooms completely *missing* from a modern suburbian home:

• The unfinished basement.

  No one seems to have an unfinished basement anymore where they can set up the kid’s toys to keep them busy until dinner.

• The workshop.

  While not really a missing room of the house itself, classic suburban homes have always had enough yard to accommodate this should the occupants desire it.  Now, however, there are little plastic buildings, slightly larger then a dog house, that accommodate the mower, weed-whacker, and sprinkler.

• The entryway.

  This former room has been completely assimilated by the rest of the house and now just opens up into whatever area of the house the front door happens to be attached to.

• A games room.

  Okay, this may not be missing, per say, but I am very surprised that houses this large do not accommodate this.

These missing rooms, combined with the absence of a real yard, are the main contributing factors to the evolution of the modern, suburbian garage.

Think about it.  What is a garage on a home like this if not just a smaller unfinished basement that happens to be on ground level and has a really big door and poor lighting?  But really, it’s so much more.

No one in modern suburbia uses their garage to park their car, that’s what the driveway is for.  (Well, there are a few.)  No one even uses their garage to store their junk.  (Again, a few exceptions do exist.)  No one uses their garage for what it was intended for.  So, what do they use it for?

1. Workshop.

   Many people use their suburbian garage as a workshop.  This can be a workshop where you build things (due to the lack of an actual workshop), or a workshop where you work on your special vehicle/project (due to the lack of space available in the driveway ‘cause that’s where the car goes…not to mention the lack of parking that’s a result from the proximity of all the houses).

2. Lounge for the grownups.

   With the garage door open parents are able to keep track of their kids more easily who are playing on the streets and sidewalks due to the lack of a real yard.  This has resulted in the advent of the modern suburbian lounge garage.

3. Storage of non-junk items.

   Due to keeping the garage door open all the time, and the proximity of all the houses, everyone can see into everyone else’s modern suburbian garage.  As a result, what is stored in the garage is usually nothing near junk…that’s in your walk in closet or spare bedroom closet.

4. Entryway.

   Yes, in some cases the garage has evolved into the main (not the “great”) entryway.  This is due to keeping the garage door open all the time, and some (though, not many) places to put things when you walk in through that area.

5. Games room.

   As a result of not having an unfinished basement for the kids, the kids get actual living room.  (We wouldn’t want them playing in the great room and a garage is no place for a kid to play.)  With the kid’s toys in the living room, where do the grownups go to play?  Heh…the modern suburbian garage, of course.

If you think any of this isn’t true, feel free to stop by our place for a visit.  Preferably between 5 and 8 PM so that more people will be home at the same time.

Apparently, if your voicemail gets hacked and is used to make $60,000 worth of long distance calls, you will still be responsible to pay $7,000 of that simply because it is deemed to be your responsibility to establish a password that is not easy to guess.

My question to the phone companies is this:

“How do you expect us to create strong passwords when all we can use are 4 – 6 numerical digits?”

This policy is absurd!

I love the “How Stuff Works” site!  One of my favorites.  Today, I read up on how to prevent a heart attack and learned some interesting things.  I’ve summed up the full article below and marked the ones that had surprising information (to me) in them with an *, but you’ll need to read the article to find out what the surprise is.

10 Steps to Avoiding a Heart Attack

#10 Exercise; specifically cardiovascular exercise
#9* Sleep; get 8 hours of sleep each night
#8* Aspirin; A daily, low amount can help
#7 Lower your cholesterol
#6 Lower your blood pressure
#5 Chill out; relax dude
#4 Stop smoking; obvious, but awfully difficult
#3* Undergo preventive screenings; hmmmmmmmm
#2 Know your family medical history

And the number 1 step to preventing a heart attack is…

#1 Adopt a heart-healthy diet

Okay, so most of this I already know, and some of it I even already follow.  At least that’s what I initially thought.  Then I thought “wait…how much of it do I really already follow?”  Well, lets see.

#10 – I’ve decided to start, but only just.
#9 – I try, but usually fail
#8 – Not at all
#7 – Haven’t thought about it
#6 – Haven’t thought about it
#5 – If you know me, you know I’m usually relaxed.  Often when stressed.
#4 – Done.  (btw, NEVER tell someone to “just quit!”  It doesn’t work like that.)
#3 – Never done.
#2 – I know my immediate family’s history.
#1 – What’s a heart-healthy diet???

My answer to #1 was not rhetorical.  I clicked on the links to figure out what they thought a heart-healthy diet was and why.  They listed out the top five foods in such a diet.  Again, I will list them, but you will need to read the article.

#5 Whole grains
#4 Legumes
#3 Alcohol – huh
#2 Nuts
#1 Fish

So, my conclusion is that I need to think more about this and make a couple of changes.  Of the top ten things to do to prevent a heart attack I have 3/10 which isn’t the best odds in the world.

How many of the ten items do you think you have achieved?

Some of you know that I recently counseled at my Church’s annual summer camp. For those of you who didn’t know that, now you do. My cabin was comprised of 5 kids all around age 9. There was myself and an old friend of mine who I hadn’t seen in years (at least for any extended period of time) as the counselors for the cabin. It was a wonderful time full of both challenges and great joys.

I really enjoyed the group of kids who were in my cabin (the White Wizards) and hope to see them next year. (Yes, I had such a good time I think I might do this again next year.) Below are some pictures I took. I didn’t take many because I was too busy having fun…I mean working really hard.

(The following pictures open up in the same window.

My version of “packing light” was apparently a little off.	This became apparent to me when we had to strap the suitcase to the roof of the car.	A classic “surprise” driving shot.
The sign welcoming us to camp.	This is one of the log cabins. Compare this to the actual camper-cabins (you’ll see).	FDK-1 and his family walking around before everyone arrives.
A kid-carrying-clergy member (there were many).	Some campers arrived a bit early.	Most campers, however, arrived all at once.
The Black Mafia. (Only a portion shown here.)	Here all the campers are proceeding to the chapel to officially start camp.	A camp goat.
There were two.	A chuck wagon bearing its colours. These were the “cabins” the campers slept in.	Every night we had a bon fire. They got pretty big at times.
None of my pictures of the chapel turned out that well. This was the best of the lot.	Here the kids wait “patiently” before heading down to the swimming hole.	The swimming hole was really a river. Here the kids are hesitating to go in.
It didn’t take long before they lost their inhibitions.	An accidental shot that didn’t turn out too badly.	For some reason I found the idea of a guitar-playing cook amusing.
Noodles like the one carried here had more purposes then just hitting others.	Here the noodles can be seen acting as an improvised goal.	One of the councilors would often provide us with nice background music.
This is the main hall in which main-type things (like meals) happened.	A nice picture of a wonderful book.	My fellow councilor.

Doctors have created a list of who should be allowed to live and who should be left to die when a pandemic hits. My questions to them are:

• What makes someone over 85 years old, or a person with Alzheimer’s, a less valuable person?
• Have any of you even read any history books, or even head of the Holocaust?
• Are your own names on the list?

I was shocked when I read this article. I hardly know what to say. The fact that this is being taken seriously makes me want to cry.

The problem is not that some people are going to live at the cost of other people’s lives.  If the pandemic strikes, that will happen no matter what we do.  The problem is that this list sets a precedence with regards to the value of human life.  It states that one groups deserves a chance at life while the other doesn’t.  How far off from that are the gas chambers?

Well, hopefully it will have an end to it. And hopefully that end will involve the project’s completion. Until such a time, however, I thought I would let everyone see some images of our progress so far.

(The following pictures open up in the same window.)

The starboard side of the craft.	The port side of the craft.	the hovercraft as seen from behind.
The bow of the craft from one side.	The bow of the craft from another side.	The lift duct as seen from the side.
The lift duct seen from within the cockpit.	The eventual main thrust duct.	The main engine.
	The main engine up close and personal.

What a joyous celebration! The main Paschal celebrations began with the baptism of the child of some friends of ours. She was the most well behaved infant I have ever seen baptised. There was a slight whimper at the end and that was it.

Afterwards, the body of Christ (a cloth icon of it) was taken from its place in the centre of the sanctuary and placed on the Altar. Then we marched around the church three times and the priest pounded on the doors demanding that they be opened for the King of Glory! Someone from within the Church yelled out “Who is the King of Glory” to which the priest responded “The Lord, strong and mighty. The Lord, mighty in battle!”

Then we all entered the Church which had been transformed from its dark and gloomy atmosphere of the tomb to a Church that was all bright, white, and covered in flowers. The service proceeded from there with the priest throwing flower petals over everyone present and yelling at the top of his voice “Christ is risen!”, to which the congregation would yell back “Indeed He is risen!”

This went on for some time while the choir was singing (very well, I might add) about the joy of the resurrection and the fulfillment of prophecies. After this we became partakers of life eternal (took communion) and then headed down to the hall where the priest blessed the Pascha Baskets (that’s fun to say, by the way, you should try it).

Then we ate of all the foods we had been fasting from (but only to the point of being satisfied) and enjoyed one another’s company. It was a grand event indeed.

Having got home sometime after 4:00 AM, Stella and I headed right to bed and didn’t get up until 1:00 PM. Then, at 4:00 PM, we headed back to the Church for Paschal Vespers and a Ukrainian barbeque. There were all kinds of food there, including a chocolate fountain, and once again we all had a blast. It is truly the most awe inspiring service.

This year I learned all about the Holy Fire in Jerusalem. It is a miracle that occurs every year where holy fire comes out of the tomb in which Christ lay and ignites the candles present. Read this article all about it and make sure to check out some of the video links there too.

One of these years Stella and I will pilgrimage down there ourselves, but for now I am satisfied with the fellowship of my fellow Orthodox Christians here in Victoria.

Pascha is almost upon us. I have taken all of Holy Week off of work in preparation for the event. There have been morning and evening services almost the whole of the week and I’ve managed to get out to almost all of them. It’s been a very long week. Now, with just hours left, the last of the services is about to start.

I must apologize to those from my work who wanted me to get pictures of all the events. Unfortunately it just has not worked out. However, Stella will be taking pictures of Pascha itself so I will have some to show you.

I was surprised to discover how many people took the whole week off of work. It was more then I figured it would have been. The funny thing is that, when it’s been men taking the week off, their wives have all had their schedules all thrown out of whack. Funny that.

Well, I better go and get ready. I need to be their early (9:00 PM) to help get things set up. The service itself won’t start until 11:30 with a baptism happening at 10:30, but there’s still a lot to do. Happy almost Pascha everyone!

Looks like they found the gateway to hell, and it’s not San Francisco.

There also seems to be a back door to a similar place in the United States, however.

Ever wonder how to fold a napkin?